I will be the first to admit that my husband's not going to be nominated for sainthood anytime soon, but that doesn't make him or anyone else a murderer.
I know that someone will someday look it up so I'm going to make it easy on that person right here. It's public knowledge anyway once you know how to find it, but I'm all for efficiency and less hassle. Not a big fan of surprises anymore either, and since I knew about these before I married him or got pregnant I'll share it with all of you here: my husband's not perfect.
Here are his charges:
January 2006: Plead guilty to felony charges:
THEFT; AGGRAVATED THEFT
MISUSE OF CREDIT CARDS
He spent a few weeks in County jail over this.
July 1998: Plead guilty to the following charge:
I never much believed the case he went through in 2006 with his ex-roommate. We tried to fight that and he was eventually convinced to just plead guilty, repay it and not get so stressed out trying to fight a ghost. Allegedly there was an email, although every time I tried to tell the lawyers in Cleveland to get the full headers, I was yelled at. One thing I've learned is that with lawyers you have to ensure that you are not sounding smarter than they are. In fact, I burst out laughing about the restaurant receipts because she used to take him out to dinner he told me. Those receipts "disappeared" when I mentioned that. But the full headers would have told us what computer the email originated from and what email it originated from; we helpfully turned over his yahoo account's full header to compare it to...if it were to make an appearance.
I didn't know until at least a year later that he had a specific ring tone for his cellphone that sounded ONLY when she would call. It was a Beatles tune and that phone rang that very Beatles tune every day, up to 4 times per day! I heard it so often that I assumed that was his sole ringtone, but at one point I told him when he said it was his ex-roommate again that I couldn't understand why she was calling so much. "You moved out; she needs to get over it." So I told him to tell her he'd get a restraining order if she ever called again. Afterward, she only called one more time, to tell him he needed to get a lawyer because she was going to sue him.
Regardless! He plead guilty then too. That's akin to a confession and therefore he is guilty. I still haven't gotten the full headers of the SOLE evidence they were using to even claim he was in possession of her credit cards in the first place: an email from the very same email account that they met on yahoo personals with. I'm not accusing anyone of anything, I'm only stating facts. He plead guilty so he's guilty. Remember that. I'm striving to prove his innocence over a much less trivial 2007 diabolical; nothing else matters anymore. It's odd to read those words because I was at one time quite hot headed over this.
I guess I should have learned my lesson after hearing this very well known lawyer tell Elwood, "My job is to keep you out of jail." I thought at the time, "That's funny. I thought your job was to defend your client!" This is the mentality. Just plead guilty, get a slap on the wrist, and repay fines and charges (whether you did them or not doesn't matter). All that matters to them is that you didn't go to jail. It's a successful "win" for them. Does this refrain truly sink in? This is why Elwood's in prison now. This is why so many people are being "slapped on the wrist" out there. I've heard a lot of their stories since I started telling ours. There is truly something wrong with this "justice" system. But, I digress!
I recently spoke to a lawyer who said freedom is first priority, second is money and third is reputation. Well, it's easy enough to number them that way when one's reputation isn't precluding him/her from getting, retaining or finding a job to make money, to find housing, or to have the right to hold one's head up in one's community.
It's not about the truth - if it ever was. It's not about justice for true victims. It turns into an over-complicated chess game lawyers play and we are the unwitting pawns. I trusted lawyers. I trusted the system. I was the first who would have told you, "Where there's smoke there's fire." But I've got a blog to argue that. This page is to save anyone time searching who feel it's important.
My husband has two theft cases with the county Court of Common Pleas. Depending upon how much money a theft case is for will determine whether that theft case is a misdemeanor or felony accordingly. Elwood was accused of stealing his ex-roommate's credit cards and using them to make purchases in the 2006 case and the 1998 case was about some department store tag switching or something similar.
When I met our former appeals attorney I told him, "My husband had a few theft cases and was cheating on me. But that makes him a thief and a cheater, not a murderer."
And that brings me to the last personal information I have to preemptively share: he was talking to other women on the Internet. To me that's cheating. We had issues and we've dealt with them, as we were dealing with them at the time. His mother left when he was approximately 7 years old. I can't imagine what that would do to a person and from the moment I first met him I kept proving and proving again that I'm not going to abandon him, nor will my family. If nothing else, at least he's got that now. For after all, if this doesn't convince him nothing well.
There's still a part of me that feels that none of this is any business of someone who isn't his wife. After all, we don't live in Saudi Arabia where it's illegal to cheat on a spouse whether unfortunate or not. It's a matter between the spouses. I've always felt that way, but I want to be clear with you. There are no secrets and while I'm sure he's not proud of these things I'm sure we all know that nobody's perfect.
I said that during the memorial service: "Nobody's perfect, but he would never hurt his baby."