Amanda Michiru Sadowsky on June 20, 2007 ready to "eat" for the first time and so excited. She is looking at her daddy in this picture, not me. That is the way she looked upon my husband.
This website was created to promote the realities of what Shaken Baby Syndrome is and educate what it's become. All the information I obtained and that is on this site was researched after my husband went to prison. I ignorantly waited for everyone to do their jobs: police, doctors, coroners, lawyers, judges, etc. I naively believed they were going to unearth the Truth for us. If you are accused, if you know someone who is accused, do not make that same mistake. For information on my stance on his case involving the death of my daughter, see "Heart of the Matter."
Babies have died and been diagnosed with SIDS when doctors couldn't figure out why. Now the "I don't know" syndrome has been termed: SBS (and often times, usually in the UK, MSbP - see MSbP Myth for more information). Only this time loving parents and caregivers are accused of horrible acts including child abuse, shaking infants and toddlers, striking their heads against objects, etc. (Though this happens, the injuries themselves do not indicate the mechanism for their presence and the bias of SBS is used to diagnose).
While it is true that there are those out there who have abused their children, it is also becoming quickly just as true that there are a lot of falsely accused people sitting in jails and prisons, and caregivers' good names are raped in their communities.
Families are ripped apart - first children protective services takes children away, husbands and wives turn on each other in disgust and horror (or out of self-preservation), and hatred runs rampant amongst those families. Children are held hostage for a spouse to turn against spouse, or parent against a babysitter.
Why? Because when a parent or caregiver is accused by authority figures, it is generally assumed that those authority figures know what they're talking about.
My husband was one of those such accused persons. I was at work when my daughter suffered an accident. My husband called 9-1-1 and then called me to tell me that he had dropped our achingly beautiful 5-month old baby girl. Her head was swelling and she was having trouble breathing.
Yes, I know babies are dropped and they don't die. Yes, I realize that babies fall short distances and they don't die either. But I think the difference is that those are healthy babies whereas mine seems to have been a ticking time-bomb waiting to go off. As well as research has clearly shown that the height of the fall, how the victim lands and other factors play an important part in how or even if that person will be injured seriously.
I know there are so very many others out there who have been falsely-accused of this. Nearly a case per week goes out of the same hospital where my daughter officially died at, in Ohio. It's horrifying to me to watch the media reporters state yet again "the injuries do not match the story given."
Since when did we as parents and caregivers have to tell doctors what our children's diagnosis was? Why aren't doctors telling us what happened by doing testing? Investigation?
I watched in dazed horror as my husband was arrested, accusations started flying and turning into facts almost of their own volition.
Suddenly a birthmark turns into a bruise. Suddenly an infant who only ever had breathing problems, jaundice, skin problems, subconjunctive hemorrhages in her eyes (indicating possible infections), was throwing up since the day we brought her home and fighting off all those vaccines they force upon our babies these days turned into a "previously health 4-month old female infant."
That is how it starts. Without this bias, child abuse would never enter the minds and my husband's explanation of a short drop would readily be believed.
I am starting this website for many reasons. One, I truly hope I can lead people to help. I have successfully helped one case in Ohio and a few throughout the country, and I hope to win my own husband's appeal. I have also attempted to educate on a few other cases throughout the country.
You would assume that people aren't arrested in this country unless they were guilty. "Where there's smoke there's fire." That's what I always believed too. It works a little differently with SBS cases. There is no presumption of innocence because the bias alone works as sufficient proof.
I have lost all my trust of doctors, detectives, lawyers and so-called "justice system." It's worse than fighting a ghost when the doctors hold all the cards and don't deal them out. In 2007, in Ohio, the prosecutor in a criminal case didn't have to share full discovery with the defense lawyers on top of it. Two blood tests' results are missing to this day, allegedly "not ordered." And yet, I can point out at two places where they most certainly were.
I've seen cases where autopsy reports have incorrect information, information that's completely overlooked or outright ignored. I've seen this in my daughter's.
Detectives get over-zealous. One in my husband's case sickened me with how "giddy" he seemed about this whole ordeal. He was apparently thrilled that day to have gotten the chance to be on the local news.
Then again, so were people who never knew us, barely talked to us, didn't know our names, or didn't live in the same state as we did! The only person those detectives actually talked to who knew us was our daughter's pediatrician. He only had glowing things to say about us as parents because we'd both been to every visit, scheduled or otherwise.
I go into more detail on the "Our Story" page. I know there are so very many people out there affected by this misdiagnosis and injustice of immeasurable proportions. I hope you will frequent this site and feel free to ask for help. I have a few trustworthy people available to give advice, answer questions, and listen.
I had to go through it alone, in a fog, blindly and mutely waiting for answers that never came. I have spent 5 years and counting thus far searching for them. A forensic pathologist told me that the autopsy was so poorly done and the medical records are pock-marked with holes and missing pieces that he's stunned that anyone could have made a diagnosis of anything at all using them.
The key with SBS is that proof really isn't necessary to convict someone. The conviction is made solely based upon the accusation. It takes on a life of its own. The media ate it up like custard and spewed our its own version of who my husband was, whether it was true or not didn't seem to matter very much. I was told not to talk to them, don't "tip our hand" and then...I never ended up with a voice at all. None of family and friends had the opportunity to tell OUR SIDE of this "story."
If I can't win an appeal to get a trial...we might never get to.
From my dogged research, bugging doctors throughout the world, including our daughter's pediatrician and one of the ER pediatricians attending to her that night, reading every research journal and Volpe's Neurology of the Newborn (thank you, Cincinnati Library) and taking college classes in neuroscience and medical terminology to learn more, I have come to the conclusion that precisely what my husband said happened is precisely what happened.
I'm so sorry to anyone out there if you find this site because you are searching for your own answers, but I'm glad you did. You are not alone. There are people who believe you are innocent because there's quite possibly NO SUCH THING as shaken baby syndrome. Suspend your disbelief and continue reading.
Yes, babies do get these injuries - they are REAL injuries, but it's potentially impossible through manually shaking them to produce these injuries. As this site evolved, I have posted links for anyone to read, to see the research that lead to this myth that a human being can shake a baby and produce the injuries known as shaken baby syndrome. I intend to add links to cases eventually, so that you can see for yourself how the syndrome's necessary injuries change every single time. There is no "mold;" it's whatever the diagnosing physician wants it to be. Sometimes, there have been cases where there was never any injury to the child in the first place!
Stay and educate yourself because if you have children you are at risk. Babies are having seizures. Babies are having short falls and dying from them. The slightest of bumps on the head are causing fatal injury. Something is going on and doctors don't know why, but now there's the convenience of yet another "syndrome" to pigeon-hole the diagnosis. All in a day's work and even better! - grants are given to the hospitals and the doctors are surely commended for finding another child abuser.
If you don't stay and read, I'll certainly understand. I wish I had the luxury of sticking my head in the sand again. I was more trusting then. I trusted doctors, police and lawyers (well, maybe not so much lawyers - ha ha). In all seriousness, if you have a baby you are taking the risk that you or someone you love will be accused. And how my daughter died could just as easily happen to anyone else's baby out there - and does.
I don't want to scare anyone. That's not what I intend. I just don't ever want to see another person accused, arrested, found guilty or taking a plea to guilt of this syndrome.
I want to see doctors forced to do their jobs. I want them to do the differential diagnostics to figure out what's wrong with babies and I want them to stop intubating our babies at the drop of a hat before they ask us as parents if there is any reason why they shouldn't do that. I want them to test our babies before they die and if that unfortunately happens, to perform a reasonably inclusive autopsy.
I hope and pray that any of you reading will be moved to donate to the Amanda Truth Project. If you are a lawyer and would work pro bono, please let me know. There are many cases that need help. Additionally, the Innocence Project is beginning to collect data about SBS cases, so if you're here looking for help, please contact your local Innocence Project to give them your information. After what it was able to do with DNA evidence, I can't wait for them to shake the foundations of this hypothesis-based diagnosis.
Any amount helps, and I really mean that. As this site grows in popularity, I hope to continue helping others. This is truly a global diagnosis and alone rarely can anyone prevail against these accusations. There is no DNA evidence to exonerate the accused. There is no "witness" to testify that the events didn't happen. There are only doctors with nothing but an opinion versus a man who was alone with his daughter saying, "I did not shake her." Any information that suggests something contrary to the original diagnosis happened, is ignored.
If you have ever had to fight something out in the courts, then you already know how expensive this is. My family has taken loans, taken out equity in their mortgages, lost retirement savings, and I've lost every penny of meager savings I might have ever had. No one should have to do this to fight an accusation that never should have been made in the first place, had testing been done to ensure the proper diagnosis was given.
Thank you for listening and please feel free to look around!
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